And There Go My Nipples Again

"Aid! I detest my breasts being touched!"

Every Monday I like to take a Reader Question and take a stab at answering it.
Here's one that I remember we don't talk about very much: what do y'all do if at that place's one function of your body that you admittedly HATE being touched during sex activity?

I woman writes:

My husband is obsessed with my breasts and I loathe having them touched 49 times out of fifty. If, and information technology's a big if, I am super super in the mood I tin can tolerate them existence kissed if it's brief and there are no hands involved. As soon as they get grabbed/brushed/rubbed/whatever, I at the minimum am fix way back on the "in the mood" scale and at worst get absolutely cold and want him to get away from me immediately. For 6 years I've been telling him to exit my breasts alone and for 6 years almost daily he has been making grabs at them and more than recently telling me I'grand withholding.

He'due south a wonderful husband, but why tin't I have one thing that I am allowed to say "I'm not comfy with that"? No reasoning or excuse has made any difference to him in what he feels is his God-given right. Most women ARE turned on by it…just I'one thousand not i of them. On the contrary, it's a huge turn off. He's not rough or hateful or anything. He'due south a wonderful homo. I just detest existence touched there. (Side note: nursing children felt like a huge amount of cocky sacrifice for the aforementioned reason so it'south not an issue with my husband). He wants me to only get over it. How?! But tolerate something that I despise just to make him happy? And so what? How can I get in the mood when I want to commodities from the room? I have no problems with beingness touched elsewhere and he's always considerate in virtually every other area of our marriage. This ane "small" outcome has become a big hang up for u.s.a. and I only don't know what to exercise anymore.

From,
The wife who flunks at foreplay

You're Not Solitary! Many Women Don't Like Beingness Touched in Certain Places

First I want to say, loudly and clearly: You're non alone. Many women find parts of their bodies are just off-limits sexually. For some it may be breasts; for others information technology may be merely the nipple; for some it may exist him inserting his fingers inside the vagina. (True story: every Girl Talk I requite I take a Q&A part where I answer anonymous questions. I once had a woman ask, "I know guys like sticking their fingers "upward there", just it creeps me out. Why does my husband have to make it seem like he'due south earthworks for golden or something?" At the fourth dimension the question was funny, simply I certainly felt for her).

I can't tell this particular woman what to exercise because I don't know plenty of the story, but I'd like to give 4 big picture questions to think well-nigh, and then some tips for where to become from here.

Check Your Past

Sometimes certain body parts (or certain acts, like oral sexual activity, for example) are really creepy for us considering of past abuse, or past things we've seen on TV or in movies when we are at certain ages that scarred united states. We may likewise feel deep shame about certain parts of our bodies. When it comes to breasts, for instance, many women with larger breasts were mortified when they were 11 or 12 when the breasts started to grow, and no one else in their class at school had them. So they became a source of ridicule.

And and then, as you got older, perhaps guys would fixate on them–fifty-fifty older men. Information technology made you feel dingy. It fabricated you think men were icky. It made you feel repulsed.

Today, when your married man that you dear touches you in that location, it throws you back to that time when you lot were totally repulsed and creeped out.

This is NOT the instance for anybody who hates their breasts being touched or who hates another torso part being touched, but it tin can be quite common.

Basically you've developed what'due south almost a phobia of it. And y'all CAN become over phobias. More on that in a minute.

Bank check the Control Result

Is it that you hate having your breasts touched or that you lot hate someone else touching your breasts? I've had letters from women with both scenarios. Ane adult female, for instance, couldn't stand up it if someone else touched her breasts, but could handle information technology if she did. Another woman freaked when her hubby tried to insert his fingers into her vagina–merely she couldn't do information technology either.

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Source: https://tolovehonorandvacuum.com/2015/09/i-hate-my-breasts-being-touched/

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